Some days I have to convince myself - or God has to convince me - that I am not about to experience the worst day of my life. I was starting off today like that, complete with being near tears and all, when it all just vanished suddenly. I was on my way to campus, sick with a cold, late for a meeting, and behind in my work, but suddenly the following went through my mind, clear, in my own voice: "This is not one of those things that you need to stress out over. This will turn out just fine. I love you."
...Anxiety melted. I drove the rest of the way to campus and noticed how autumn's colors had started to show in the trees, how the yellows and reds had mixed in with greens as wet leaves reflected the clear morning sunlight. Just colors turning, turning in the breeze.
And today turned out just fine. I was able to adjust some things that weren't working in my schedule. I revamped my plan for the day and for my daily activities. I reminded myself yet again that I am NOT out of time. I did what I was capable of and got to the library. I will go to bed on time. I will work even harder to get up on time and restart the habit of effectiveness.
Genesis 21:19 "Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink." Bada bing, bada boom. Suddenly my eyes were opened and I saw the beauty of what was in front of me and only that, and I took the next steps. So simple. Life is simple. Life is good. I might still be pretty loony in a given moment, but most people are at least a little crazy, and what happened to me was better than Prozac. I want to remember this experience.
I have to have a similar conversation with myself at least once a week- that even if a day didn't start out as I had planned, it is not a total waste. I just do what I can, and start again the next day.
ReplyDeleteOh the wonders of Facebook- you found my blog, which in turn brought me to yours.... I'll definitely be stopping by to read more. :)